Guest Contributors, Parenting, Transitions

Letting Go

“The Tao Te Ching says, When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need. Have you ever struggled to find work or love, only to find them after you have given up? This is the paradox of letting go. Let go, in order to achieve. Letting go is God’s law.”

Two years ago I was deployed to an Undisclosed Location in Southwest Asia.  How the heck did I get there? I’m in the Air National Guard, a skilled communications member in support of Spartan Shield.  But before I was cleared to go on Thanksgiving Day a year prior I just had an ACL replacement, was attempting to start a family and was settled in a job I loved. Life was great, then why did I volunteer to head across the world?

On this deployment, only being there a few weeks I admitted that I never wanted to have a baby more than I’ve had before.  Good place to have this revelation while being on the total opposite side of the world from my husband, huh?!  Why now? Was I forging a physical bond? Was it my biological clock saying “have a child already, youʻre getting older!” I didn’t want one when I was younger for selfish reasons and didn’t feel ready.  What made me feel ready all of a sudden?  Was it time, health, financial stability, a husband to have on with, pressure from parents, place? Was I trying to convince myself I was not happy enough and a child would make me happier?

I then remembered someone telling me that my journey is not by accident.  Certain events will happen and I was, was where I needed to be.  Some people call this destiny; I call it an unconscious effort to make your life yours.  When you realize what has happened, you can pin point what had to happen for you to be at the exact moment.  Today I have a 7 month old son and know I just need to let go.  Thank you Universe!

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7 Comments

  1. He is absolutely gorgeous!
    My youngest is 8 months old, so I know how fun this age is =)

    Thank you so much for your service!

    • mandaya2013 says

      He is fun, heʻs starting to talk more and move about. I love it when he laughs and smiles. And mahalo supporting the militarty.

  2. I always thought I my kids would be, at the most, two years apart, since all of my siblings are, at most, two years apart. I got pregnant with my son very quickly, but it took a year and a half to get pregnant the second time around. My son will be 3.5 when my daughter is born, and at first it took me a while to accept that fact, but now I am cherishing every moment with him because life will be so different when baby sister arrives. You’re right — I just needed to let go. 🙂

    I am so excited to find your blog! I’m a Hilo girl now living in Maryland, and not a day goes by when I don’t think “Why am I here? Why am I not living at home?” (particularly at this time of year when its getting cold!) But moving back is jut not feasible for us right now. (Perhaps this is also something I need to let go, eh?) I’m excited to go holoholo with you girls! 🙂

    Mahalo!!

    • Maria says

      Letting go and being present are a few things Iʻve been trying to incorporate in my daily life. Mahalo for stopping by.

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