“The Tao Te Ching says, When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need. Have you ever struggled to find work or love, only to find them after you have given up? This is the paradox of letting go. Let go, in order to achieve. Letting go is God’s law.”
Two years ago I was deployed to an Undisclosed Location in Southwest Asia. How the heck did I get there? I’m in the Air National Guard, a skilled communications member in support of Spartan Shield. But before I was cleared to go on Thanksgiving Day a year prior I just had an ACL replacement, was attempting to start a family and was settled in a job I loved. Life was great, then why did I volunteer to head across the world?
On this deployment, only being there a few weeks I admitted that I never wanted to have a baby more than I’ve had before. Good place to have this revelation while being on the total opposite side of the world from my husband, huh?! Why now? Was I forging a physical bond? Was it my biological clock saying “have a child already, youʻre getting older!” I didn’t want one when I was younger for selfish reasons and didn’t feel ready. What made me feel ready all of a sudden? Was it time, health, financial stability, a husband to have on with, pressure from parents, place? Was I trying to convince myself I was not happy enough and a child would make me happier?
I then remembered someone telling me that my journey is not by accident. Certain events will happen and I was, was where I needed to be. Some people call this destiny; I call it an unconscious effort to make your life yours. When you realize what has happened, you can pin point what had to happen for you to be at the exact moment. Today I have a 7 month old son and know I just need to let go. Thank you Universe!