Creative Writing, Kainoa, Nostalgia, Transitions

Lessons in the Aisles of Longs

Inspired by a Sunday visit to Longs, after a stampede left me in the dust to load carts up with what was listed in the new sale paper of the week.

1) Be flexible in life, yet sturdy in your convictions, like a pair of jeans with elastic waistbands. You’ll always be comfortable and in timeless fashion.

2) Striking up spontaneous conversations with strangers is a completely acceptable form of community building. Especially when the person you’re talking to passes on valuable cooking/baking tips and product recommendations.

3) Being told you remind someone of their relative (sister, cousin, nephew, granddaughter, best friend) is a compliment. People don’t usually tell others that by looking at them, they’re reminded of someone they can’t stand.

4) Let people behind you with a few items go ahead of you at the checkout and return your wagon when you’re done unloading. It’s just the right thing to do.

5) Smile at people with your eyes and mean it. It makes everyone feel comfortable. Besides, smiling without your eyes just looks creepy.

6) The saying, “you attract more bees with honey than with vinegar” is so true. If something is not to your liking, what good is being a boar about it? There’s always a kind way to get what you want and that includes asking for rainchecks.

7) Saying hello to someone doesn’t hurt or cost you anything.

8) Feisty humor is a timeless and admirable trait and is especially admirable in people over 60.

9) Mind your stuff and your wagon. Nobody likes aisle hogs.

10) Overly trying to kiss up to somebody because they’re the clerk or manager isn’t going to help you get a box of Vienna Sausage. If they ran out, they’re out. You should have been there at 6:00 am like everyone else if you really wanted it.